Why I did?
After having so many experiences, I began to form the theory that having a foreign partner makes life more interesting. It’s exciting to spend time getting to know their culture and exchanging language. It turns out it was a brilliant idea.
Fortunately, my spouse wasn’t the only good result of my theory. As time goes on, I’ve started to realize that there were even more good reasons to make this decision and I’m so glad I did. With a clear mind and the ability to see the consequences from both sides, I’m sure this has been one of the best choices I have made in my life.
Are you dating a foreigner? Do you want to get married and live together, but you have some doubts?
Should I get married with him/her?
Marriage is already difficult in and of itself, won’t it be harder to marry a foreigner?
How are we going to communicate?
Where are we going to live?
Well, I have some tips that might give you some ideas, and I hope they are the right ones.
If you marry a foreigner:
*There will be tons of interesting topics to talk about. You’ll understand more about the politics and culture of different countries, and you’ll have bunch of different and new topics to talk about together. You two will learn a lot of things from each other.
*You’ll become a more tolerant person, the key for a happy life. Having a different background and culture often prevents arguments or fights. You have already realized that you have to listen your partner more carefully since one of both of you may be speaking a different language. Before you start to feel upset, you have to understand each other well. In contrast, most couples from same background have disagreements because they lack tolerance. Speaking the same language allows two people to speak without thinking and miscommunicate more easily.
What’s obvious to you might be different for your foreign partner. For example, in my case, having breakfast with cheese, olives, tomatoes and cucumber is a given. For my European husband, however, it was very weird. Also, I learned a variety of ways to prepare coffee and food, as well as how to design a home. I even discovered different kinds of fruits and vegetables I didn’t know about before! Everything about the culture of your spouse becomes precious. The more you learn about other culture, the better you know yourself.
*You will not be judged because your partner’s family will be meet you and as part of a different culture. Thus, they will be more tolerant and insightful to you, giving you a better chance to introduce yourself the way you are. Especially in Eastern countries, the relationship between a wife and her mother-in-law is very sensitive. This uncomfortable relationship can destroy marriages and indeed it does affect most people. My friends often ask me about my mother-in-law (a common question – and very important! How the mother of your husband treats you can change your life radically). Thankfully, I don’t have any problems in that regard.
*You’ll learn another language. You will start learning a new language naturally, without spending money for a language course, and even without making much effort.
*Even if you are not a big traveler, you will definitely travel to different countries and meet some cool people.
*Your child will be bilingual at least. Most international couples tend to live in a third country, so your child could even become trilingual, learning languages without spending a single penny. And also growing up in an international environment makes your child wiser and more open-minded toward the world.
*Celebrating different traditional ceremonies brings more fun to your life. Especially if you’re coming from totally different countries. For instance, me, coming from a country where the majority is Muslim, never celebrated Christmas, Halloween, or Easter. Seeing and celebrating these local feasts and traditions was very fun and informative for me.
*One of the other most important things is that learning about a new culture, exploring new ideas, meeting people, and learning languages will definitely increase your intellect and make you feel enriched.
Intercultural marriages are definitely not easy, but they are NOT harder than any other marriage.
People often ask me if we can communicate okay, whether or not I express myself enough, or if I miss speaking my own language. When I first met my husband, my English was much worse (imagine how bad!), and he was barely able to make basic sentences, saying things like “I was angry (hungry) so I ate my kitchen (chicken),”and we always ended up laughing. And then there was me, searching for the right word sometimes, or trying to explain the meaning of something. However, we make it work, and even created our own mixed language. By the same token, every couple has misunderstandings. Speaking the same language doesn’t always mean perfect communication.
Do you think couples who marry within the same culture, country, city, village, or even next door have it easier? How many couples do we know from same culture still have problems talking to each other or have an unhappy marriage? A happy marriage is not about marrying someone who is like you or different from you. If you love one another and truly want to be together, you’ll find a way to make it work.
Having said all this, and looking back on it… I would marry my foreign husband again.
Are you dating or married to a foreigner? What do you think about living together? Are you struggling, or is everything wonderful so far? Share your experiences below…
That’s awesome! Yeap I am the sweet Huseyin mentioned above 🙂 and I like the way you put all these things together. You are right. Shortly what I would like to add is : Love doesn’t have a language, it is a book could be read with out seeing it, it is a movie difficult to explain.. Love is in the air, just breath…
Very well explained: “Love is in the air, just breath it”.. Nothing else to say 🙂
Great article Ozzy! I love the idea that you and your husband have your own mixed language. Developing that language must have helped you understand one another so much and on such a deep level. Keep the insights coming!
Thanks Jon! My worry is the consequences of developing a language when there is child around :S
Then the child will speak a language nobody understands 🙂 Joking apart, growing up learning 3 languages would be very advantage!
Huseyin and Ozzy, I’d love to know how long u have been in ur love relationship for and be able to say and feel love in the air? 🙂
Dear Amatullah!
“Love” isn’t measured with its longness, either to say “love in the air” doesn’t refer “long relation”. It means you can fall in love any moment to any person. I hope you understand.
Best
Dear Ozzy it makes sense yes 🙂
But everyone seems to think this is not the guy for me, and I think he is, but due to restrictions and distance I can’t really get to know him more than I do. But bcs ppl have so many ideas about why he is not good for me I feel like I’m. Being mentally brainwashed and I’ve left him him in the dark for a few weeks now. I’m get confused as to whether the doubt Is true, OR it’s just bcs everyone keeps repeating the same thing and not just accepting …
I feel it’s love I feel like of fought a long time and just can’t get everyone happy… I Don know if that’s a sign that I don’t know him well enuf maybe and shud not risk it…
But when I think deeply I’ve known him online for over two years, decent talk and conversation, and I feel like I know him very well..
Sorry ranting.. Just trying to understand how u know its love in the air.. And if it can be felt from far
Thanks
I think I understand you. Long distance relations are never easy. But you cannot understand the love without seeing him in person, touching and breathing same “air”. It’s not right to listen people judging about your relation. You must be the only person who is going to decide to continue your relation or not. But you’ll feel it when you physically meet him.
Even thought I explained here all the good and positive parts of mix relations, you must be consider and conscious about the difficulties and differences also.
I hope everything works out well with you.
Best wishes & Good luck
Thanks alot Ozzy,
I’ve met him actually.. They invited us and me and my mum stayed there for a week .. It was the best day of my life when we were engaged at the end of that week, thanks to God..
But now my family are all backing out and I’m left alone..
Yes that was very honest of u for warning me to check both sides of the coin, positives and negatives, I have done so..
Lets see what is planned for me 🙂
Thanks for listening I didn’t even intend to type all this here!
Great post! My boyfriend is actually from Australia, and once I finish my final year of University, we’re planning on moving to Sydney or Melbourne for a year (even though it’s on the other side of the world from here)! We both love traveling, so after that year- who knows where we’ll settle down!
I am Canadian and i met and married a lady from China. When we first met she could only say a few English words. I fell in love with her right away. She loves me for as she says, i am a good man.
We are compatible in all ways, our culture differences make it all the more interesting. Now she can speak enough English for our everyday talks. There is a lot of good chemistry between us, and i am happy all the time just thinking how lucky i was to meet her. It all depends on if you both have lots of love to share.
Love has no boundaries and you are one of the great example Warren! I never agree with breaking ups with the excuses of different religion, family, culture or language, only there’s NO love enough!
ur ryt ozzy love is so precious than anything in this world and we all r connected by love and it got great powers to heal any pain…breakups r jst excuses people do and i am so exited about ur article…thank you
My boyfriend is from California (but he’s Mexican) and I am from Italy, and I agree with everything you guys said!
One thing in particular in your article made me think: “you pay much more attention to what the other is saying because the one you use is not your first language”. So true!
Thanks Martina!
Yes, you don’t have luxury to be angry with your partner because always there’s “what if…? What if I got wrong? What if he didn’t mean it?” So this makes couples more tolerant each other. You are lucky, at least one of you guys speak his first language. You probably will have no communication problem soon. In our case, nobody speaks his/her mother tongue, so we don’t improve/master in the language we communicate.
Great post. I’m in a relationship with a Swedish woman for 6 months, I’m Indian. Basically she can speak 6 languages. I guess learning Swedish sounds challenging as compared to French, German. She also loves spicy food very much lol. Though, we are too young to get married.
Hey Anket! It’s very good news that you getting on well. Learning a language sometimes isn’t easy but I think you have good motivation to do it! Even if you don’t learn that’s fine. My husband is Italian and I’m Turkish. I have talent to learn a language moreover more interested, so I speak Italian but he doesn’t speak Turkish. That’s fine. As soon as you’re happy together, language is just a tool!
Indian woman been in love with a German man for the last 10 years. wanted to marry him. My family are creating hell for me. Finally, this year, family compeltely disowned me. Feeling shattered. Partner is suppoortive, but can’t coem to terms wit the fact, that I’ve lost my family for good. This is the reality for some of us.
You know what, you did correct choice! If a family could disown their daughter because of her love, I’m sorry but they’re not a family. Real family wants their daughter’s happiness, goodness. I’m kind of familiar this kind of mentality. My aunt and her husband NEVER have been present in my life, then he could dare to say to me it’s sin what I’m doing marrying my husband. How ridiculous! Fortunatelly my family is open minded so I didn’t have any problem. But even if I had, I don’t give any s**t what people think. If they don’t respect me/my choices, I don’t respect them. That simple.
Usually in the time families understand their mistake and they accept/respect you. Whatever they think, you will be happy anyway!
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